tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14991800.post1462210532728617291..comments2024-03-28T00:47:31.110-04:00Comments on Natural Born Learners : Unschooling and MarriageAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13181853187769838301noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14991800.post-63132400146976362292012-04-07T15:18:07.665-04:002012-04-07T15:18:07.665-04:00@Anon- good idea! We always had my sister or mum t...@Anon- good idea! We always had my sister or mum to babysit.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13181853187769838301noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14991800.post-51342807381878194662012-04-02T20:32:00.533-04:002012-04-02T20:32:00.533-04:00We are always so busy taking our kids here and the...We are always so busy taking our kids here and there, working , cooking, living there just doesn't feel like there is much time for US! We have made it a priority this year to go out once a week. We hire a babysitter and we get a break. It is worth the investment- I promise you!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14991800.post-79663695348688474402012-03-22T17:02:53.818-04:002012-03-22T17:02:53.818-04:00Rachel,
Thanks so much for your feedback and posit...Rachel,<br />Thanks so much for your feedback and positive energy. It is wonderful to hear of other unschooling couples who have been together for a long time and enjoy each other's company. <br />CathyAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13076282329093508289noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14991800.post-29062058429834495602012-03-22T11:50:40.127-04:002012-03-22T11:50:40.127-04:00My husband is very protective of me. It sounds gre...My husband is very protective of me. It sounds great but sometimes it is a problem because he seems to be protective of me against the kids! It is hard because he still doesn't get the unschooling philosophy as well as I do so that he might see what the kids are doing as being rude, while I see it as developing independence and free thinking. Conflicts arise because of this. He wants to protect me "don't speak to your mother that way," etc while I don't see it as being rude- just questioning. He is at work most of the day so he doesn't get a full understanding of what has been going on all day and when he comes in, he expects the kids to be a certain way - he really is a 50s dad some <br />times! He loves me and I love him, but sometimes it gets really frustrating to parent the kids with someone who still doesn't get it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14991800.post-34652429118887007152012-03-22T00:15:12.326-04:002012-03-22T00:15:12.326-04:00Cathy,
Hi! I loved, loved this post. I adore my ...Cathy, <br /><br />Hi! I loved, loved this post. I adore my husband too (and he adores me). We love to hang out together. Like you, ordering take out and watching a movie or catching up on cool shows we have TiVo'd can be the most fun. We have been married for 17 years, together for 18.<br /><br />I feel terribly sad for anonymous, because, tho being an unschooler makes intimate (sexual) time difficult to come by, I love that time with my husband. It's not annoying or messy but a way to bond with him, on a spiritual, emotional, and physical level. And all those rings don't usually coincide in other activities. It is the most vulnerable way to be with another human being. It does't have to happen all the time (God knows it doesn't for us), but it should be a positive event for both spouses.<br /><br />I never saw breastfeeding as sexual (like some weirdos who are against breastfeeding do) but it has those same qualities. It is a physical, emotional and spiritual bond with a baby/toddler. I would never think of depriving a baby of that, nor would I think of depriving my husband (and ME) of the very act the brought those babies into existence.<br /><br /> I don't think it's a healthy attitude that 'anonymous' has about sex, and I think her marriage is headed for the rocks if she and her husband don't find some way to close the gap. It makes me very sad to read.<br /><br />Just wanted to let you know, Cathy, that you are not alone in wanting to go home and hang out with your husband or hold his hand. There are other unschooling moms out there, like you, and I am one of them. (And you know what else? I think witnessing that kind of love and affections is great for the kids to see and know about.)<br /><br />Thanks again for such an important post.<br /><br />~RachelRachelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10315070733142528978noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14991800.post-74032381955178484722012-03-21T08:49:20.463-04:002012-03-21T08:49:20.463-04:00Anonymous,
Please don't let money be a reason ...Anonymous,<br />Please don't let money be a reason to avoid having fun with your husband. We rarely spend a lot of money. Usually we will go by Chipotle and pick up food to bring home and watch a movie together. (Our library has free movies) That is date night for us most of the time. A few times we have taken our bikes to forest preserves and rode. These were the best times because it gave us lots of time to talk without other commitments to worry about. <br /><br />Like you we have found over the years that our interests don't always match. My husband is a musician on top of his paying job and enjoys spending a lot of time playing guitar. It is a solo activity until he asks me to listen to him play or invites me to attend a gig. It's not the big things that make the differences in connecting, it's the small things. Also, don't be afraid to sit and watch a game with him on occasion. Just as with our kids, we do some activities that aren't of our choosing in order to be a part of their lives. Sometimes my husband will go on walks with me in the morning even though that is not his thing. <br /><br />I am not a counselor, but one thing I have noticed over the years is that many couples know each other so well that they "think" their spouse understands what they are thinking when in fact they don't. In my humble opinion, the best way to close the gap is to TALK. Talk a lot about what you really want and need but also listen to what your husband really wants and needs too and see if you can meet somewhere that is good for both of you. I know for my husband that many times over the years just knowing that I am willing to try his idea of fun makes a huge difference. <br /><br />Good luck. Marriage is definitely not easy. <br /><br />CathyAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13076282329093508289noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14991800.post-58735872962106354622012-03-21T06:24:33.280-04:002012-03-21T06:24:33.280-04:00There are catches to finding date time.
I want to...There are catches to finding date time.<br /><br />I want to find something for us to do or talk about; he wants to spend the time being sexual. I do not like sex. It's annoying and messy. I love being touched, but dislike the exposure of going further. I endure it for his sake. I have trouble enjoying any alone time because I know he'll want to do it and I'll concede. <br /><br />As for finding something we can do together, we're short on money (so signing up for pricey classes to share or events is not a smart option). <br /><br />Around home, we don't like to spend our weekends doing the same things: him(watching sports), me(cooking for the week ahead, household chores). We do take walks together every week or so, but I feel like the "strong one" who's supporting him. Being together seems to emphasize the gap.<br /><br />How to close the gap? (I need a counselor, I think--but again; that's big money).Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com