Monday, March 01, 2010

Pushing our kids away

When my sister and her husband took a week long trip to Mexico without their two and a half year old, it got me thinking about how often we hear society's message that in order to have a 'real vacation' we need to be away from our kids. Like, only with the kids out of the way, tucked safely in bed, or at someone's house, can the fun really begin.

It got me thinking further about how fast we are to 'push' our kids away, convinced that this will 'toughen' them up, teach them 'resilience,' teach them to be independent and capable.

The danger with this way of this way of thinking is that we end up creating a situation that is the opposite of what we set out to do.
If the child is not ready and we force premature separation, we are likely to end up with a kid that is anxious and fearful.

It is also hard on a mother who goes against her instincts: she suffers separation anxiety and feelings of guilt.
Timing is everything. As for me,I look forward to vacationing with my entire family this summer, and view this as a time for relationship enriching.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

We are sending kids to school earlier and earlier. In some countries they don't send their kids to school until age 7 and these kids are by no means 'behind' kids that have started earlier.
On the contrary, they grow up to be well adjusted, engaged adults.

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